If I will and if I may…!

So many thoughts going at once, if I say what I think and show what I want the judgment comes quickly and harsh, but if I don’t the encouragement is right at hand. Hypocrites whose fake intentions are only urged by the wish to see me fall.

To catch me if I fall and to listen when I speak they promise, when I know that crashing surely awaits me and that they will doubt my every idea and fight each of my thoughts. Friendly they seem, and yet they will attack and destroy me with no mercy for they see me as the weak when I know I am just being outspoken, honest, sincere and humble.

Thanks they say while striking a spear on my back. Good luck my friend I loudly hear and a whisper crying I hope you fail. Clean and untainted I remain for I shall not change my ways. True and sincere I speak my words for they carry the meaning of my thoughts and the intentions of my heart. Passionate I am for it gives me the motivation to pursue that which I seek. Even in darkness I shall have light, it comes from within and the conviction of being right.

Listen if you may and do as desired, but stay out of my way and keep your lies, deceits, tricks, diversions, illusions and denials away for I will not care. Unchanged and determined I will remain against the ignorance of the hypocrites.
-Franklin Peña-

She is an angel walking the earth...

I listen to her voice in ecstasy, my mind spinning, thoughts bursting, and emotions uncontrolled. Euphoric and mesmerized as her joyful giggle takes me far into an alternate reality that I only wish to be consumed by. I pray and I beg to the forces unknown to give me the power to live this memory in an eternal instance of pure joy.

An angel, a deity that makes me question my awaken state. Sure is not a dream for I know she is real despite the wicked ways of the world I know she is true and tangible and so I dream a dream to stay awake and never falter in her eyes or away from her. I found a miracle, a rarity, most precious than gold. I mean to keep it without disturbing free will. If so fortunate I am to be, then so be it for I have suffered long enough and it might be the time to be rewarded from high above.

I shall not argue nor complain, agree or be complaisant with a gift I don’t deserve. To earn her trust will be my mission, to make her happy my true reward. It is my purpose to acknowledge wisdom and pursue the path which will reveal me her very soul. In harmony we will walk and the world shall once again experience true love.
-Franklin Peña-

My Ruby

As I see the sparkling auburn red hair I start dreaming of all that could be, the possibilities and adventures of a brand new world of happiness and harmony.

The tranquility of mind, body and soul all as one. Her eyes true and innocent, revealing love and peace. Her immaculate body soft and tender that brings such exhilarating sensations full of joy. Her hands provide the amazing feeling of angel like presence.

To think that I have been in her presence and blessed with her companionship is being in a state of ecstasy, so immersed in pure joy and peace. To her for the happiness ahead and the love to share. Speechless at her presence...
-Franklin Peña-

The chaotic rebel!

Tonight the rebel seek chaos, soothing music and a comfortable crowd to immerse himself in a lost world of vivid moments and exotic places. Redemption I seek not, forgiveness maybe for the things left undone out of unawareness and lack of confirmation.
-Franklin Peña-

In Whitney's Eyes...

Is easy to get lost as her eyes pierce your soul and make you wander of the things beyond. The clear picture of an angel coming from above, to rescue you from within... for they will guide you through the darkness and show you light that comforts your feelings and emotions.

Indescribable urgency to search the inner you and rid yourself of all that is not pure. To cleanse yourself from mundane thoughts and let the divine shine from within. To acknowledge what's real and forget the innocuous thoughts of illusion and vanity. To make you want to be better and resign all that is vane and absurd.

They bring tranquility to mind and soul and dig deep into your inner self looking for that which once was lost. The language itself is not vast enough to describe such a feeling of perfection and pure joy. In Whitney's eyes I found the lost treasure of innocence now reborn.

Let her eyes be blessed for all eternity, within them we find the answer to our own existence and the comfort and rejoice of that which makes us who we are. They bring back the essence of what it means to be human and for that we can only be grateful forever more.
-Franklin Peña-

Women are like roses...

They have to be acknowledged, smelled and gently taken care of...
-Franklin Peña-

Diamonds or Stones?...

People will believe what they will, but they will also ignore the obvious truth that's right in fromt of their eyes. There is an abundance of ordinary men and women and once in a while you come across one that is very special and treat them like they are above and beyond and until they do the least expected, their ordinary behavior comes out not only to dissapoint you, but also to disrupt your entire conception of what you thought they were and leave you clueless as to believe if there is any point in keeping on trying.

So be done and forget it. Not worth the time and effort. Go back to the roots and ignore the illusions created by the hope of finding something better. Do as you will and find that which as always right in front of you, just don't be specting that any regular piece of coal has a diamond at its core. The chances are slim to none...as for me, my search for diamonds is over, it is after all another ordinary rock.
-Franklin Peña-

Recycle...

The average daily number of deaths on the U.S. is over 6,000 and the average number of daily births on the U.S. is over 13,000. If God believes in recycling so should you.
Recycling is a good thing...

The power of knowing...

Would we be better off not knowing the things we do? At least the things that have pierced us the most. The truth is we cannot change what we know or predict what we will find out tomorrow. One thing I know for sure, not knowing certain facts would certainly aleviate my pain and put my heart at ease. I don't want to change the fact that I learned about these things, but I wish they were not what they came to be.

The noise, the echoes in my head that keep thundering away the powerful truth that can be defeaning and disturbing to say the least. Music always put me at rest or in a state of coma from life's horrible facts, so much to to point that I forget, remember and ignore all at once if that is even possible. The voice of the soul keeps reaching in.

Through the music that brings memories back to the here and now although way burried in the past or hidden in a most desirable future. The posibilities and the what if? do present themselves very appealing and enchanting because they come wrapped within the illusion of what we want them to be. If the magical journey could have no end, leaving no traces of where we're going or where we've been. It's only in that very secret place of our imagination that attaches itself so cohesively to the true desires and wantings of our soul marching in parallel to our dreams.

Don't stop, keep walking the path of solitude and joy for there we find the company of the friendly souls that will always be with us since it is in our thoughts that we control them all. No need for argument or disagrement is what we want, need and crave, all together in our magical place. So I say that knowing I can not evade, but if I choose to not acknowledge don't blame it on me. Just know that at times I rather be the blind walking soul that leaves no footprints...
-Franklin Peña-

Years of our life...

Like water slips through our fingers so do the years that go by slip away. Like water that evaporates into thin air, our years pass and leave us dry in the same way rivers lose their essence when the water of life escapes them. Life itself runs away from our bodies and time records every moment of our memories leaving us as legends that passed through it.

Some will be remembered as others will be forgotten, and as old age consumes us there is nothing but a trace of what it was. What’s important is the moment, the here and now. The rest we can’t change or predict, but only regret or expect. Just remember as time goes on forever, you do not.
Act on it now before your river runs out.
-Franklin Peña-

A mi querida Madre...

Solo puedo decir que no hay alma mas buena en este mundo que tu! Madre querida. Gracias por darme la bendicion de ser tu hijo. Que Dios te proteja y bendiga siempre madre de mi alma.

Tu hijo,
Franklin Peña

To my kids!

I will always be so proud of you, no matter what. My love for you goes beyond what word can say, and far beyond what the mind can comprehend. Is love from deep within my heart. Elohim go and conquer the world! Iloriem you smile leaves those around you breathless. Tipheret, your heart can hardly fit in the world, so full of love and compassion. I love you all so much... Always, your DAD, Franklin :p)

In One Moment In Time...

October 2007

In one moment in time we fall in love, in one moment in time a child is born, in one moment in time a heart is broken, in one moment in time a soul is lost.

We feel like the world has cheated us so horribly, We love without measures, without boundaries, with total passion and expression and care more about the one we love than of ourselves, we give all we can, physically and emotionally yet we feel cheated for the love was not return in the same way.
If we keep going now we will be taking great risks. Another betrayal and our sense for loving might just give up. Right now we can love so much and give our love without regrets, but the curtain has fallen and it shows things in ways they were not so before. If we keep loving and it all works out then love will bless us, but if another betrayal occurs then our capacity for loving might want to fade away. We could not go through this pain twice and recover graciously since the potential for failure is so much greater than success. We feel incline to cut our losses and walk away while we still feel that we can love again.

One more heartbreak and it will render love useless, for the pain will be unbearable and we would rather concentrate on having fun and desist from thinking in the fairy tale that obviously is not a reality, but a ghost of the romantic imagination. If we fail this time, there is no turning back, Pandora’s box will be opened and love will be no more. If being always there for the one we love, her Romeo or Juliet, does not return any kindness from them. If at the end, our position of being a faithful companion and a great lover gets betrayed by the acknowledgement of the one we love, we will take and handle anything even great pain because we are in love. Then why are we doing all this loving for? Better join the crowd and be the mindless self, thinking of our own satisfaction, put our feelings above the other's and live a normal life. That would pretty much take care of living without pain, but is it worth it? Well let me tell you, when the pain is so deep and so intense it might just be worth it to become just another jerk.

We could not endure this pain again and refuse to experience it one more time when it seems almost certain that we would. Now do not be deceived for the willful goodbye is pain in itself, but it is conscious pain planned and fabricated with the sole purpose of avoiding the real and irreparable pain that will truly kill the soul and rip open the heart. The truth is that such fabricated pain is worth the saving of the soul from what could be its very end.

Goodbye has never been a word we like to say. It is cold, sharp and bitter, but it can also put an end to the continuity of pain. We need to love and be loved without any rules, excuses and or explanations. Love is love and in itself does not need explaining or justification, it is just LOVE. This is what we have set sail forth, TRUE LOVE and on this life or the next we will find it, but in order to do that we have to also be able to let go of what appears to be any imitation no matter how good the resemblance is to the real thing. Love is bound to time and space to be able to express itself in a world of mutuality, the giver and receiver constantly trading places for all eternity.

Love can not be conditioned or excused under someone's mere interpretation of it due to lack of first hand knowledge from having experienced it in body, mind, flesh and soul. We have been ever so lucky for having felt love so close and so pure and yet so unlucky and unfortunate to not have it come back to us in the same way. We feel as if we should never love again, never be this vulnerable, never be this hurt, but only time will tell and true love might just be able to find its way again.

So is time to say Goodbye, go and fly away, fulfill your dreams, soar the world, live life, enjoy the journey, taste success and when all else is done and finished we will still be on this same earth, if our search for love is not over then, we might just find the truth about ourselves, we might realize then that what we looked for so long and across the world was always right in front of us at every moment that we look at each other's eyes. You just did not know it then, and we are aware that you might not discover it ever, but in that case we do hope that what you find in your journey ends up being more and never less. Remember; never ever settle for less, you are too good to be wasted in the company of those that can not appreciate it.

We feel sad, yet conscious that we loved and gave without any hesitations, reservations, or regrets. We did what we must and would do it again. We loved and many a times that is a sin, for love can be misunderstood and people will turn on you and not comprehend. Anyways, we walk out this door without remorse, it was not our fault, it just did not work. Hearts are broken and hopefully they will mend. Love is something we walk in blindly like in a trance; when we walk out of it we are very awake. We feel the pain, continue the journey and move on. There is always the need for love, the road is dark, and there are no guiding lights.

We are back on familiar grounds a little wiser with a little more pain. One day it has to stop, nothing goes on forever, but love itself. So it is with tears in our eyes, broken hearts and trembling hands that we dare say goodbye. May you find all the happiness that we could not bring to you and that you so well deserve.

In one moment in time a teardrop blinds our sight.
-Franklin Peña-

My Very Own Real Hero!

You taught me so many things...

People can not change the way they look, but they can improve the way they dress. When you really love someone the best material gift you can give her is a watch for it measures that which measures her life.

When things don't work out between two people the best thing to do is to walk away without the need to make it hurtful for them.

A woman should always be treated like a queen and love should be like a fairy tale, for anything less is unacceptable and not worth your time.

Always make those around you as comfortable as you can, they truly deserve to see the best side of you. If by chance they see you at your worst they will cheer you up and comfort you if they are true friends.

Live life in such a way that each moment becomes a precious memory so that at the very end you can see it as a movie full of joy and without regrets.

When you look at a person's eyes you are looking at the deepest part of their very soul.

If you always look with an objective perspective you shall never be deceived, for you will see only the true intentions, what is real, present and tangible anything else could be just part of the imagination that tries to steer you away from the things that really matter and that are within reach and at hand.

For these and everything you taught me I thank you DAD. I shall only be so lucky to inherit and practice some of your traits.

Thanks for bringing the light when life seems to become dark. Always know how much I love you and how proud I am to be your son. May the angels rejoice in your company and bestow peace and harmony upon us.
-Franklin Peña-

What are you doing with the time that has been given to you?...

Do we truly know anything about time? All we know is that everything we do, every action taken even if is just standing still, thinking or dreaming away, is in fact contained in a bucket of time.

We do not know how many buckets we have left for future actions, we can only be sure of the buckets we have used to this moment and even then lots of this used buckets are very hard to account for.

All our treasures are contained within these buckets and as we move forward and accumulate more adventures, joy, misery, happiness, disappointment, or whatever the experience might be, buckets of time have to be available to hold all of these.

We never know when we are going to run out of buckets, but if we treat every moment as if it was the last then we'll be both prepared and fulfilled.
-Franklin Peña-

Federico Garcia Lorca - Romance Sonámbulo

/////////////////////////////
// English Translation //
///////////////////////////

Green, how I want you green.
Green wind. Green branches.
The ship out on the sea
and the horse on the mountain.
With the shade around her waist
she dreams on her balcony,
green flesh, her hair green,
with eyes of cold silver.
Green, how I want you green.
Under the gypsy moon,
all things are watching her
and she cannot see them.

Green, how I want you green.
Big hoarfrost stars
come with the fish of shadow
that opens the road of dawn.
The fig tree rubs its wind
with the sandpaper of its branches,
and the forest, cunning cat,
bristles its brittle fibers.
But who will come? And from where?
She is still on her balcony
green flesh, her hair green,
dreaming in the bitter sea.

--My friend, I want to trade
my horse for her house,
my saddle for her mirror,
my knife for her blanket.
My friend, I come bleeding
from the gates of Cabra.
--If it were possible, my boy,
I'd help you fix that trade.
But now I am not I,
nor is my house now my house.
--My friend, I want to die
decently in my bed.
Of iron, if that's possible,
with blankets of fine chambray.
Don't you see the wound I have
from my chest up to my throat?
--Your white shirt has grown
thirsy dark brown roses.
Your blood oozes and flees a
round the corners of your sash.
But now I am not I,
nor is my house now my house.
--Let me climb up, at least,
up to the high balconies;
Let me climb up! Let me,
up to the green balconies.
Railings of the moon
through which the water rumbles.

Now the two friends climb up,
up to the high balconies.
Leaving a trail of blood.
Leaving a trail of teardrops.
Tin bell vines
were trembling on the roofs.
A thousand crystal tambourines
struck at the dawn light.

Green, how I want you green,
green wind, green branches.
The two friends climbed up.
The stiff wind left
in their mouths, a strange taste
of bile, of mint, and of basil
My friend, where is she--tell me--
where is your bitter girl?
How many times she waited for you!
How many times would she wait for you,
cool face, black hair,
on this green balcony!
Over the mouth of the cistern
the gypsy girl was swinging,
green flesh, her hair green,
with eyes of cold silver.
An icicle of moon
holds her up above the water.
The night became intimate
like a little plaza.
Drunken "Guardias Civiles"
were pounding on the door.
Green, how I want you green.
Green wind. Green branches.
The ship out on the sea.
And the horse on the mountain.


/////////////////////////////
// Original Spanish //
///////////////////////////

Verde que te quiero verde.
Verde viento. Verdes ramas.
El barco sobre la mar
y el caballo en la montaña.
Con la sombra en la cintura
ella sueña en sus baranda,
verde carne, pelo verde,
con ojos de fría plata.
Verde que te quiero verde.
Bajo la luna gitana,
las cosas la están mirando
y ella no puede mirarlas.

Verde que te quiero verde.
Grandes estrellas de escarcha,
vienen con el pez de sombra
que abre el camino del alba.
La higuera frota su viento
con la lija de sus ramas,
y el monte, gato garduño,
eriza sus pitas agrias.
¿Pero quién vendrá? ¿Y por dónde...?
Ella sigue en su baranda,
verde carne, pelo verde,
soñando en la mar amarga.

Compadre, quiero cambiar
mi caballo por su casa,
mi montura por su espejo,
mi cuchillo por su manta.
Compadre, vengo sangrando,
desde los puertos de Cabra.
Si yo pudiera, mocito,
este trato se cerraba.
Pero yo ya no soy yo,
Ni mi casa es ya mi casa.
Compadre, quiero morir
decentemente en mi cama.
De acero, si puede ser,
con las sábanas de holanda.
¿No ves la herida que tengo
desde el pecho a la garganta?
Trescientas rosas morenas
lleva tu pechera blanca.
Tu sangre rezuma y huele
alrededor de tu faja.
Pero yo ya no soy yo.
Ni mi casa es ya mi casa.
Dejadme subir al menos
hasta las altas barandas,
¡dejadme subir!, dejadme
hasta las verdes barandas.
Barandales de la luna
por donde retumba el agua.

Ya suben los dos compadres
hacia las altas barandas.
Dejando un rastro de sangre.
Dejando un rastro de lágrimas.
Temblaban en los tejados
farolillos de hojalata.
Mil panderos de cristal,
herían la madrugada.

Verde que te quiero verde,
verde viento, verdes ramas.
Los dos compadres subieron.
El largo viento, dejaba
en la boca un raro gusto
de hiel, de menta y de albahaca.
¡Compadre! ¿Dónde está, dime?
¿Dónde está tu niña amarga?
¡Cuántas veces te esperó!
¡Cuántas veces te esperara,
cara fresca, negro pelo,
en esta verde baranda!

Sobre el rostro del aljibe
se mecía la gitana.
Verde carne, pelo verde,
con ojos de fría plata.
Un carábano de luna
la sostiene sobre el agua.
La noche se puso íntima
como una pequeña plaza.
Guardias civiles borrachos
en la puerta golpeaban.

The beauty and power of sight!

Beauty is in fact in the eyes of the beholder. Sometimes we forget to stop and think about the intrinsic and wonderful details of what we see. The amazing architecture of the scene within our line of sight and its individual components in harmonious arrangement.

Object or subject, each has its beauty. The changing angles alter the appearance and what you think is trivial someone else might find absolutely amazing. The imagery is process so quickly and many a times it passes unnoticed. If we were really awake to live and absorb the moment it would lift our spirit and bring joyful memories of far away friends, times long forgotten and infrequently visited places.
-Franklin Peña-

Make it so!

If things are not what they used to be, then make them exactly what you want them to. Live with no regrets and experience life in its natural way. Take the good and make it better. Forget the past for it is only a memory. After all the only moment that is relevant is the here and now for it is the one being tasted and experienced.

Go through life making friends and being comfortable in your own environment soon you will see how rewarding it is to concentrate on people's virtues rather than their flaws. Become aware of your own flaws so that you can eliminate them and perfect the virtues you have. Show people the positive side of you and take away the negative to yourself.

Be true and honest to all those around you, rid yourself of negative thoughts so your mind is pure and clear to conjure new ideas and be heading toward success.

Give it all without expectations, life will be so much more fulfilling that way. If deceived, learn from the experience not to be so naive. Set challenging goals and work them towards completion. Rejoice in the satisfaction of accomplishment and pass on the lessons learned.

Be mindful of promises made to not disappoint the ones you love. Talk the walk as long as you can walk the talk. Be forgiving of the broken promises that were made to you. Judge only your actions and yourself even though judgment will always be imposed on you.

Remember to give thanks for the goodness in your life and ignore misfortune that soon will pass. Stick to your good principles and never compromise your integrity because at the end no reward is worth the shame.

Head high and steady, forward looking, face the world, and remember to just be yourself!
-Franklin Peña-

Tasting excitement and smelling success!

Nothing feels like the flesh of the one we love, desire and crave. It is like a healing touch coming from God himself that embraces and revitalizes in such a gentle and sublime way.

The development of trust and the natural unfolding of very unique events that leads us into the path from which we shall not want to return. The air feels light and untainted, thoughts are clear and vivid, and dreams become real and intense.

The brain feeds as the mind wanders into a great new journey that goes beyond time and space. It takes us into a brand new world of dormant emotions being awaken with specific intent, suddenly and abruptly yet very focused.

...to be continued...
-Franklin Peña-